Hermie & the Ariel Twins

Hermie thought he was the luckiest Elf in the world.

Twins!

He talked Ariel and Ariel into meeting him in the tub, slipped between them, and gave the girls his signature suggestive-eyebrow-wiggle.

ChristyP on @ElfShaming #ElfOnTheShelf

Hermie: So…what do you say I turn off the jacuzzi and let you ladies have your way with me?

Ariel One: This isn’t a jacuzzi. We had huge black bean & onion burritos for dinner.

Ariel Two: PBBBBBLLT!!! ‘Scuse me, I tooted. Again. Tee hee hee! Bubbles!

Moment? OVER. 

And that’s what you get when you try to trick a pair of innocent princesses into some naughty shenanigans, Mister Hermie. That’s. What. You. Get.

Elf submitted by Christy P.
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Rambo Gets His Way

Rambo needs to learn that No Means No

Sweet, fluffy, reliable George was just laying around, minding his own business.

Then Rambo the Elf popped by out of nowhere.

Hey George. What’s up?

George smelled trouble, and tried to ignore him.

Rambo wouldn’t stand for The Cold Shoulder. He came a little closer. 

 Hey Handsome. Doggy want a bone?

George stood strong as long as he could. Then Rambo broke out the Big Guns:

How about a some bacon and a tummy rub? 

Now THAT was an offer Man’s Best Friend can’t refuse.

Rambo even hand-fed the persuaded pooch bits of crispy bacon, rendering him up for anything.

Who’s a good booooooy???

It didn’t take long before Rambo was taking full advantage of the situation, spooning that cute canine well into the night.

 Just don’t tell the cat, okay?

Elf submitted by Kerry of HouseTalkN.com
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Jingle Helps Himself

Jingle doesn’t like to ask permission.

It’s fine for your Elf to help himself when you have a bowl of fruit set out for guests, or a candy jar teeming with peppermints for the taking.

It’s not fine when he starts swiping your A.M. Life Blood.

NOOOOOO!!! NOT THE STARBUCKS!!!

To add insult to injury, he skips the formality of drinking the coffee from a cup.

Now that’s just gross.

Not ones to give up their caffeine addiction over a few stray Elf hairs on their Keurig machine, the Fordevilles let Jingle get away with this behavior.

They were lax.

They lost their focus.

They forgot about the booze in the fridge.

Now it’s Fancy Coffee Cocktails every day for Jingle. All day long.

So each morning, the Fordevilles find him passed out in a new spot. Which isn’t very magical, if you really think about it.

At this rate, Jingle is headed either for eBay at a very deep discount, or rehab.

Elf submitted by Kim of The Fordeville Diaries
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Elf on the Shelf at Target

Jenn needed to run a simple errand: Shopping at Target.

She wasn’t expecting a pint-sized magical plush helper to tag along.

This unnamed girlie Elf hopped into Jenn’s cart as she passed by. Being an open-minded gal with things to do, Jenn didn’t say much of anything.

She even overlooked a little trouble-making in the holiday aisle.

Then things started getting personal. Like, Mean Girls, personal.

Not cool, you Arctic anarchist. Not. Cool.

Only two more stops before Jenn could loop back around to drop this feisty Elf off where she came from. If she only knew that Santa’s Helper would want to get innocent Target customers arrested for shoplifting, she would have kicked the Elf out right then and there!

It couldn’t possible get worse than jail time…could it?!

Before Elf could do any more harm, Jenn grabbed her prescription from the Pharmacist while dashing back to the Elf on the Shelf display, ridding herself of her unscrupulous passenger for good.

Little did she know, there was one last trick up the Elf’s scarlet sleeve.

Let’s hope that Jenn figures this one out before it’s too late. 

 

Elf submitted by Jenn of Something Clever 2.0
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Soiling a Respectable Scrabble Board

There is nothing wrong with an Elf on the Shelf playing games. 

However…

We’d just hope that these Elves are playing appropriate games.

In an appropriate way.

This little guy was discovered in front of a Scrabble board.

That, in itself, was not the problem. 

The problem was that he was playing a late night game of Strip Scrabble with Dora the Explorer and Baby Alive.

Clearly, spelling is not Baby Alive’s strong suit.

And even though Scrabble is typically seen as an intellectual’s game, this cerebral Elf insisted on tawdry tile placement and the kind of language that respectable dolls like Dora should not be familiar with.

True gamers may have the desire to compliment his ability to stick to a theme and keep hitting those Double Word Scores. But that’s not the point, people. 

The point is that two innocent dolls were lured into the kind of Game Night that starts with popcorn and pleasantries, but ends with Fifty Shades of Grey-type experimentation with riding crops and safety words.

This is one filthy-minded trickster of an Elf who deserves to be locked out of all game closets for the foreseeable future. Starting? Now.

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