Johnny is a complicated Elf.
Some Elves quietly relax while in storage, catching up on rest for 11 months before the hectic 4 weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas arrives. Sleeping, reading, rearranging his quarters in a green and red Rubbermaid bin…this is what Johnny should have been up to.
Not this guy. He’s a frisky one.
One may be tempted to cast judgement and say he was probably sewn naughty.
I tend to think that he was walking a righteous path up until his Naming Day. That was was this Nameless Elf was given the same moniker as a man who brought roadkill to his son’s Preschool pick-up, thinking the wee ones would enjoy the sight of flattened critter carcasses.
When someone’s named after the kind of bad-ass who travels with roadkill, you gotta expect him to experiment sexually and mingle with unsavory characters.
It’s like being bad was his destiny, and he’s just living up to the expectations. How can we possibly blame him for that?