Ohhhh Johnny, Johnny, Johnny…
At least you know when you’ve done wrong.
His story is a sad one that has the feel of a Charles Dickens tale mixed with grain alcohol and lace panties.
Johnny hated his job. He was caught under the influence one too many times. He fell on hard times, which did nothing to curtail his drinking.
He did some things he shouldn’t have.
He got caught. There was a BIG scene. His wife found out.
Barbie tossed his ass out of the Dream House. His clothes, his fancy hats, his pride…everything was scattered on the front lawn.
He drank more. He wore her clothes, which he stole from the house when she was out grocery shopping one afternoon. He rarely showed up for work.
Johnny’s days were spent drinking. His nights were spent puking.
This was not the life Santa had hoped for him.
One morning he woke up in Barbie’s satin spangled house frock, reeking of rum and regret, and realized that it was up to him to make his life worth living again. It didn’t take magic to make him a Good Elf, it took courage.
He threw out all the spiked eggnog he had left in his rental apartment, and headed back home to his love, ready to reenact her favorite John Cusak movie scene in an attempt to win her back.
Will Johnny keep up the cleaned-up act? Will Barbie forgive his drunken, philandering ways?
Only time will tell.
Elf submitted by Kate Horey of ThePushUpBlog.
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