Luke the Elf Just Wants a Moment of Peace

Luke the Elf has been working very hard in the Spidel home.

He doesn’t ask for much. Just for the kids to keeps their hands off him, and maybe a moment of peace?

HAHAHA. Your optimism is adorable, Luke.

So what’s an elf to do when he’s feeling overwhelmed?

Serenity Now Elf on the Shelf by Meredith Spidel for ElfShaming

I’ve heard the phrase “steal a moment” of peace.

I didn’t think Luke would take it literally.

That son of a gun snuck into Meredith’s essential oils stash, stole the doTERRA Serenity Calming Blend, and USED IT ALL UP.

Elf on the Shelf Serenity Now by Meredith Spidel on ElfShaming Meredith Spidel

How is MEREDITH supposed to stay calm now?

For her sake, let’s hope that Luke talks the chubby fella in red into popping a new bottle into her stocking to make up for the thievery, for everyone knows that moms need serenity now way more than elves do during the holiday season.

Elf submitted by The Mom of the Year. Follow Meredith on Twitter!

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Adventures of Elfie Junkel

Elfie Junkel is quite the overachieving elf.

By that I mean dude is up to no good.

Adventures of Elfie Junkel on elfShaming

He has been caught…

…robbing a piggy bank.

Elf on the Shelf Piggy Bank Heist by Melissa Junkel on ElfShaming

…luging in the living room.

Elf on the Shelf Luge by Melissa Junkel on ElfShaming

…doing science experiments unsupervised. (Does he really think we believe him when he says he’s making snow?)

Elf on the Shelf Science Experiment by Melissa Junkel on ElfShaming

…taking a space mission in the boy’s bedroom to deliver freeze-dried ice cream for breakfast.

Elf on the Shelf Space Mission by Melissa Junkel on ElfShaming

And that’s only the beginning! This little guy is always up to something.

I don’t know how Ma Junkel hasn’t giving him a stern talking-to yet. Maybe because he’s adorable even while doing slightly criminal activity? Hm. Could be. It is hard to be angry when your elf is feeding your kid sweet space treats.

Want to see more of his antics? Visit his Pinterest board.

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Winter is Coming

Someone has been spending a little too much time streaming old episodes of ‘Game of Thrones’ when he should be keeping an eye on the kids.

That wouldn’t be quite so bad (heck, we all love a good binge-watching, right?) if he wasn’t also creating messy landscapes in the kitchen that Ashley has to clean up every day.

GOT Elf by Ashley Fuchs on ElfShaming

Sure, it was just in time for the Winter Solstice–bonus points for good timing–but, still. CUT IT OUT WITH THE FAKE SNOW, ELFY.

Elf submitted by The Malleable Mom. Follow Ashely on Twitter.
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Elizabeth is Just a B*tch

Amy’s adorable 7-year-old daughter was tickled pink when she lost a tooth!

Her loving parents cleaned it up and helped her tuck it under her pillow.  That night she dreamed sweet dreams of a glittering Tooth Fairy plucking the enameled gift and replacing it with cash before flying off to whatever magical place they go to at night.

But things didn’t turn out as expected.

elizabeth is just a btch by Amy Mayo on ElfShaming

Elizabeth the Elf knew what was going down–I mean, it is her job, after all–and snuck into the little girl’s bedroom before the last of the fairy dust landed softly on the carpet. Luckily, her task was intercepted by Amy and evidence was taken at the scene:

That Elf is NOT the Tooth Fairy by Amy Mayo on ElfShaming

Elizabeth not only stole the little girl’s Tooth Fairy money, she ALSO nabbed her favorite purple marker to write a note that simply stated, “I’ll take that.”

WHO DOES THIS?

A total bitch. That’s who does it.

Shame on you, Elizabeth. Shame. On. You.

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There is a BIG Difference

Acronyms confuse people.

I admit that I Googled “NSFW” the first time I saw it, and sometimes need to refer to a cheat sheet to understand what people are saying on The Twitter.

But when it comes to MILF vs MELF? I’m not sure how people can not know that these are two VERY different things.

MELF on the shelf vs MILF on the shelf on ElfShaming by Kim Bongiorno

First, the MILF on the Shelf. Usually not an actual elf, often seen in last night’s party dress, or a push-up bra before 3pm. Known to most who see her as a “Mom I’d Like to F…” well, you know how that goes. Almost always wearing mascara. And if she ended up on the shelf? She should probably be ashamed of herself for whatever she did that landed her there.

By NicoleLeighShaw on NickMom, used with permission.
By NicoleLeighShaw on NickMom, used with permission.

On the other hand, we have MELF on the Shelf. Usually discovered in the wee hours of the morning, often seen in last night’s pajamas climbing up onto shelves to put the real Elf on the Shelf in a new spot where the kids can’t reach it. Known to Santa as a “Mom Elf” for doing so much watching of the kids before Christmas. Almost always clutching a cup of coffee. And when you find her on a shelf? You should probably help her down, or at least distract the kids before they catch her moving that damn elf at the last minute again.

MELF on the Shelf by Kim Bongiorno on ElfShaming with ElfOnTheShelf

Sure, I guess a MILF can technically be a MELF–but I bet they don’t look very MILF-like while MELFing.

And I’m pretty sure there are both DILFs and DELFs out there, too. Now that I’d like to see.

While I ponder all this, please take a moment to enjoy some other elftasticness on web, courtesy of NickMom, such as:

The Elf Creepiness Chart – Who’s worse: Clay Aiken or Hermey?

The 6 Weirdest Locations for the Elf on the Shelf – Really? An OVEN??

The Elf on the Shelf 2013 Pop Culture Edition – LOLOLOL

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Peeping Elf

Here’s the thing about elves: they look like innocent felty folk who just want to steal candy canes and bags of mini marshmallows for adorable games of holiday hockey with passing chickadees and chipmunks.

I mean, yeah, of course they love doing that. Who wouldn’t?

But there are other things they love to do.

Other more…sordid things.

And if they can’t do them?

They watch.

Peeping Elf by MomComs on ElfShaming

Another glorious daytime date ruined by a peeping elf.

The pervs.

The irony here is that this elf’s name is Diamond Snowfake. You’d think with a moniker like that he’d be a wee bit more original and classy than this, BUT NO.

(Am I the only one glad we can’t see what he’s doing with his hands?)

Elf photo submitted by Jennifer Scharf of MomComs. Follow her on Twitter.

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106 Elf on the Shelf Ideas

From a little silly to downright naughty, here are 106 Elf on the Shelf idea prompts to get your creative juices flowing. Whether your Elf on the Shelf is pulling a prank on your kids or you want to share some adults-only antics with your friends, there’s something here for everyone. Have fun!



106 Elf on the Shelf Ideas by ElfShaming

  1. Playing board games
  2. Playing card games
  3. Playing reindeer games
  4. Playing with knives
  5. Playing hard to get
  6. Hanging out
  7. Hanging up
  8. Leaving notes
  9. Leaving poop
  10. Leaving a mess
  11. Leaving Santa
  12. Cute
  13. Kissy
  14. Kinky
  15. Sneaky
  16. Sexy
  17. Sewing
  18. Singing
  19. Inappropriate use of marshmallows
  20. Inappropriate use of scissors
  21. Inappropriate use of markers
  22. Inappropriate use of tape
  23. Inappropriate use of a gingerbread house
  24. Inappropriate use of a candy cane
  25. Inappropriate use of Christmas lights
  26. Inappropriate use of cleavage
  27. Inappropriate use of a smartphone
  28. Running
  29. Rowing
  30. Looking
  31. Listening
  32. Thinking
  33. Throwing
  34. Up high
  35. Down low
  36. Should he be drinking that?
  37. Should he be eating that?
  38. Should he be reading that?
  39. Should she be watching that?
  40. Should she be buying that?
  41. The big 7: lust, envy, gluttony, greed, pride, sloth, wrath
  42. Lies
  43. Confessions
  44. Persuasion
  45. Excuses
  46. Blackmail
  47. Bribes
  48. Revenge
  49. Regrets
  50. Road trip
  51. Sexual relations with himself
  52. Sexual relations that are logistically tricky
  53. Sexual relations with multiple partners
  54. Exhausted
  55. Obsessed
  56. Forgetful
  57. Stealing food
  58. Stealing jewelry
  59. Stealing hearts
  60. Poor life choices
  61. Retelling an urban legend
  62. Retelling a children’s book
  63. Retelling the story of your favorite TV characters
  64. Retelling the story of his rap sheet
  65. Retelling the story of his sordid past
  66. Retelling favorite song lyrics
  67. His relationship with the dog
  68. His relationship with the internet
  69. His relationship with the kids in the house
  70. The truth behind the smile
  71. The truth about her last Girls Night Out
  72. The truth about how she interacts with the toys of the house
  73. What he cooks
  74. What she cleans
  75. What he bakes
  76. What she hides
  77. What he reads
  78. What she writes
  79. How she spent her time at the store
  80. How he spent his time in the attic
  81. How she spent her last dollar
  82. How he spent his Spring Break
  83. How she got away with murder
  84. How she ruined the party
  85. How she got an injury
  86. How she spends her days
  87. How she spends her nights
  88. In the kitchen
  89. In the bedroom
  90. In the bathroom
  91. In the basement
  92. In the living room
  93. In the closet
  94. In the yard
  95. Getting creative with chocolate
  96. Getting creative with stickers
  97. Getting creative with cotton
  98. Getting creative with frosting
  99. Getting creative with chalk
  100. Getting creative with cameras
  101. Getting creative with LEGO
  102. Getting creative with zip lines
  103. Favorite outfit
  104. Favorite craft
  105. Favorite prank
  106. Favorite hiding spot

Ready to start playing with your elves? We’d love to feature them here on ElfShaming. Here’s how to submit your photos

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We Are Ready for Your Naughty Elves

Do you want your elf to be featured on ElfShaming?

We’re already accepting pictures of elves (and elf-alternatives like Hanukkah Helpers, Mensch on a Bench, Maccabee on the Mantle, trolls, gnomes, squirrel statues in festive hats, homemade elves, and the like) being naughty! We’ll take antics from G-rated silliness to R-rated shenanigans. Anything goes in this neck of the North Pole!

Check out how easy it is to submit a photo of your elf’s antics.

ElfShaming wants to feature your naughty elves!

Want a real challenge? This year’s special series (in addition to the regular photos) is “ElfShaming Hollywood.” We’ll be recreating some of our favorite movie scenes (not just holiday movies–ANY movie) because we are slightly insane. Want in? Simply email ElfShaming@Gmail.com with the movie and scene you’l like to do, and we’ll add you to the calendar.

Need some inspiration? Here are some fan favorites:

You can also read our list of 106 Elf on the Shelf Ideas.

Need an elf or the like for your shelf? Order one here:*

We look forward to seeing what your little spies are up to this year!

Make sure to follow along on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and my weekly newsletter so you don’t miss a thing!

*This is an affiliate link. If you order something from it I will earn a small percentage.

7 Deady Elf Sins: Gluttony

From every Elf on the Shelf Pinterest board I’ve seen, it appeared that elves live on itty bitty elf donuts (with sprinkles) and the occasional marshmallow.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I had been misled by Pinterest, yet again.

Yes, they enjoy sweets.

But they also enjoy the lamb chops I was saving for my husband, my kids’ favorite angus beef meatballs, and pinot noir…in very large quantities.

Who knew something so small – whose job it is to sit around all day watching kids – had such a massive appetite??

Back to the grocery store I go…

Elf on the Shelf 7 Deadly Elf Sins on ElfShaming

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Want to submit an elf of your own? 

Photograph your elf doing any of the 7 Sins and post it directly to the ElfShaming Facebook Page. The favorites will be featured right here on ElfShaming.

This Bad Elf Likes Cabernet

All Jessica wanted to do after a long day with the kids and work was sit down with a nice glass of wine.

But two bottles of her favorite Cabernet were missing!

How could that be!?!

A thirsty elf on @ElfShaming via @JessBWatson Elf on the Shelf

Oh, Jingle Flower. Did you think she wouldn’t notice?

You naughty, drunken elf. Back to the North Pole you go!

(You might want to take a few Tylenol with you for the trip, little guy.)

Elf submitted by Jessica Watson of Four Plus an Angel.
Follow her on Facebook, Twitter & Pinterest.
Want to submit an elf of your own? Email ElfShaming@Gmail.com.