7 Deadly Elf Sins: Lust

The 6yo gave Sporticus the Elf a cute teeny teddy bear.

Sure, it was a bribe because she had behaved in a way that she knew Santa wouldn’t quite approve of. But – other than that – it was an innocent enough gift.

The innocence didn’t last long.

Not long at all.

ElfShaming 7 Deadly Elf Sins Lust

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Photograph your elf doing any of the 7 Sins and post it directly to the ElfShaming Facebook Page. The favorites will be featured right here on ElfShaming.

Insane in the Elf Brain

Everyone hopes they’ll get The Best Elf Ever each holiday season.

Maybe one with a sweet face and festive, jingly outfit!!!

What’s important to understand is that yes, elves come in all shapes, sizes, and colors…but it doesn’t matter what they look like – or how adorably innocent they appear to be. 

They will always get into trouble.

Insane, but true, facts about elves: 

1. They will always raid the candy and snack cabinet.

Patti InsaneInTheMomBrain Elf got the Candy on ElfShaming

2. They will always try to swim in your marshmallows.

Patti InsaneInTheMomBrain Elf swims in marshmallows on ElfShaming

3. They will always find their way into your liquor cabinet (and sombrero wall hangings).

Patti InsaneInTheMomBrain Elf got into the booze on ElfShaming

4. They will always read your porn on the potty (and probably not flush afterwards).

Patti InsaneInTheMomBrain Elf reads porn on the potty on ElfShaming

5. They will always twerk The Biebs, if given the opportunity. 

Patti InsaneInTheMomBrain Elf twerks Justin Bieber on ElfShaming


So, really: TRUST NONE OF THEM.

Even “The Best Elf Ever” is insane in the elf brain. They just can’t help themselves.

(And you should probably lock up your Biebster at least ’til the New Year.)

Today’s Elf is Patti of Insane in the Mom Brain. She likes to raise money for good causes, like kids with cancer. You can help her do just that right here. I already did!
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Want to submit an elf? Email it to ElfShaming@Gmail.com

Dobbie’s Back – and He’s Crafting!

Dobbie the Elf is Back on ElfShaming

Dobbie is one of the most (in)famous elves on the internet.

Many call him an inappropriate Elf on the Shelf.

He’s perfectly fine with that.

He happens to live with an artsy crafty family, and took it upon himself to join in on the family fun. You know, help decorate the house. Make it look more festive.

Snowflakes are a lovely addition to any home’s decor. There’s no way a project like this could go wrong. Unless…

Dobbie making snowflakes Elf on the Shelf Idea TheBeardedIris on ElfShaming

Oh, Dobbie. Not again.

Elf submitted by The Bearded Iris. Find it on the Baby Rabies #InappropriateElf contest, as well!

7 Deady Elf Sins: Gluttony

From every Elf on the Shelf Pinterest board I’ve seen, it appeared that elves live on itty bitty elf donuts (with sprinkles) and the occasional marshmallow.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I had been misled by Pinterest, yet again.

Yes, they enjoy sweets.

But they also enjoy the lamb chops I was saving for my husband, my kids’ favorite angus beef meatballs, and pinot noir…in very large quantities.

Who knew something so small – whose job it is to sit around all day watching kids – had such a massive appetite??

Back to the grocery store I go…

Elf on the Shelf 7 Deadly Elf Sins on ElfShaming

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Photograph your elf doing any of the 7 Sins and post it directly to the ElfShaming Facebook Page. The favorites will be featured right here on ElfShaming.

The Gluten-Free Elf on the Shelf

Your Elf on the Shelf was sent to you by Santa to help remind the kids that he is watching.

These elves have a simple task: keep an eye on things, take notes, magically return to the North Pole each night, give a detailed and honest report to the thick guy in red velvet, and go back to his/her perch for another day of voyeurism. 

Did you notice the use of the phrase “detailed and honest report” in there?

Many elves pride themselves on their honesty and detail.

Others have an intolerance to gluten and are willing to overlook all sorts of Naughty List Behavior in exchange for some delicious gluten-free cookies and milk.

One such elf is Cocoa.

All it takes is a gluten-free bribe and Cocoa is willing to look the other way.

Gluten Free Elf on the Shelf on ElfShaming

You’re only letting yourself down, Cocoa.

Well, yourself and Santa Claus. 

For a cookie.

*sigh*

Elf submitted by Courtney of Our Small Moments.
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The 7 Deadly Elf Sins: Envy

I always thought that elves had 10 fingers and 10 toes.

I was wrong.

Then I figured that since they’re magical, and all, they wouldn’t care about this manufacturing oversight.

Again, I was wrong.

Envious Elf 7 Deadly Elf on the Shelf Sins on ElfShaming

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Photograph your elf doing any of the 7 Sins and post it directly to the ElfShaming Facebook Page. The favorites will be featured right here on ElfShaming.

Billy is a Thief & a Narc

Billy the Elf never stops moving.

And no, I don’t mean “moving from shelf to shelf spreading holiday cheer.”

I mean the little bastard won’t stop getting into trouble long enough to capture and cage.

First, he arrived late.

Thanks for breaking the kids’ hearts, Billy.

Then he literally swept Barbie off her feet, installing a zip line in the dining room and rushing her straight to his waterbed in the china cabinet.

Thanks for leaving nail marks in the walls, Billy.

Elf on the Shelf Zip Line with Barbie on ElfShaming via Val Perez

Then he rolled off Barbie and took off on a stolen motorcycle, leaving her with a broken heart. 

Thanks for the tire skid marks on the hardwood floors, Billy.

Elf on the Shelf Motorcycle on ElfShaming via Val Perez

Then he broke into five-year-old Valerie’s bedroom, discovered her secret candy stash, photographed the evidence to get her in trouble, and ate it all.

Thanks for taking your Narc duties a bit too far, Billy.

Elf on the Shelf Candy on ElfShaming via Val Perez

Anyone have a tranquilizer gun we can borrow for a night or two (or fourteen)?

Elf submitted by Val Perez.
Want to submit an elf of your own? Email ElfShaming@Gmail.com.

The 7 Deadly Elf Sins on ElfShaming

Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Wrath. Envy. Pride.

These are known as The Seven Deadly Sins, but when it comes to The Elf on the Shelf? They take on a whole new meaning.

Greedy Elf 7 Deadly Elf on the Shelf Sins on ElfShaming

Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll be sharing my own elf’s 7 Deadly Elf Sins, and invite you to join in:

ElfShaming 7 Deadly Sins Elf on the Shelf

 

Photograph your elf doing any of the 7 Sins and post it directly to the ElfShaming Facebook Page. The favorites will be featured right here on ElfShaming.

As always, I accept everything from adorable G-Rated sins to R-Rated. 

So show me what Santa sent you, however they’ve been sinning.

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This Bad Elf Likes Cabernet

All Jessica wanted to do after a long day with the kids and work was sit down with a nice glass of wine.

But two bottles of her favorite Cabernet were missing!

How could that be!?!

A thirsty elf on @ElfShaming via @JessBWatson Elf on the Shelf

Oh, Jingle Flower. Did you think she wouldn’t notice?

You naughty, drunken elf. Back to the North Pole you go!

(You might want to take a few Tylenol with you for the trip, little guy.)

Elf submitted by Jessica Watson of Four Plus an Angel.
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