Luke the Elf Just Wants a Moment of Peace

Luke the Elf has been working very hard in the Spidel home.

He doesn’t ask for much. Just for the kids to keeps their hands off him, and maybe a moment of peace?

HAHAHA. Your optimism is adorable, Luke.

So what’s an elf to do when he’s feeling overwhelmed?

Serenity Now Elf on the Shelf by Meredith Spidel for ElfShaming

I’ve heard the phrase “steal a moment” of peace.

I didn’t think Luke would take it literally.

That son of a gun snuck into Meredith’s essential oils stash, stole the doTERRA Serenity Calming Blend, and USED IT ALL UP.

Elf on the Shelf Serenity Now by Meredith Spidel on ElfShaming Meredith Spidel

How is MEREDITH supposed to stay calm now?

For her sake, let’s hope that Luke talks the chubby fella in red into popping a new bottle into her stocking to make up for the thievery, for everyone knows that moms need serenity now way more than elves do during the holiday season.

Elf submitted by The Mom of the Year. Follow Meredith on Twitter!

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I Do Not Think Elves Are Supposed to Do This

There are many things an elf can do in the evenings, such as:

  • Go report the kids’ behavior to Santa
  • Chip in at the toy factory
  • Look for errant pine needles
  • Unplug the exterior Christmas lights
  • Remind the dog he’s being watched, too
  • Do a better job of hiding the gifts in that poorly-tied garbage bag Mom hastily shoved in the closet

What do we see NOT on that list?

i do not think elves are supposed to do this by herd management on elf shaming

How about playing strip poker in Barbie’s Dream House?

Herd-Management ElfShaming Strip Poker

Do these ladies even know that his felty frock doesn’t come off?

SHAME ON YOU, Mr. Elf.

Shame. On. You.

Now get back to work!

Elf submitted by Herd Management. Follow Jessica on Twitter!
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Adventures of Elfie Junkel

Elfie Junkel is quite the overachieving elf.

By that I mean dude is up to no good.

Adventures of Elfie Junkel on elfShaming

He has been caught…

…robbing a piggy bank.

Elf on the Shelf Piggy Bank Heist by Melissa Junkel on ElfShaming

…luging in the living room.

Elf on the Shelf Luge by Melissa Junkel on ElfShaming

…doing science experiments unsupervised. (Does he really think we believe him when he says he’s making snow?)

Elf on the Shelf Science Experiment by Melissa Junkel on ElfShaming

…taking a space mission in the boy’s bedroom to deliver freeze-dried ice cream for breakfast.

Elf on the Shelf Space Mission by Melissa Junkel on ElfShaming

And that’s only the beginning! This little guy is always up to something.

I don’t know how Ma Junkel hasn’t giving him a stern talking-to yet. Maybe because he’s adorable even while doing slightly criminal activity? Hm. Could be. It is hard to be angry when your elf is feeding your kid sweet space treats.

Want to see more of his antics? Visit his Pinterest board.

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Elizabeth is Just a B*tch

Amy’s adorable 7-year-old daughter was tickled pink when she lost a tooth!

Her loving parents cleaned it up and helped her tuck it under her pillow.  That night she dreamed sweet dreams of a glittering Tooth Fairy plucking the enameled gift and replacing it with cash before flying off to whatever magical place they go to at night.

But things didn’t turn out as expected.

elizabeth is just a btch by Amy Mayo on ElfShaming

Elizabeth the Elf knew what was going down–I mean, it is her job, after all–and snuck into the little girl’s bedroom before the last of the fairy dust landed softly on the carpet. Luckily, her task was intercepted by Amy and evidence was taken at the scene:

That Elf is NOT the Tooth Fairy by Amy Mayo on ElfShaming

Elizabeth not only stole the little girl’s Tooth Fairy money, she ALSO nabbed her favorite purple marker to write a note that simply stated, “I’ll take that.”

WHO DOES THIS?

A total bitch. That’s who does it.

Shame on you, Elizabeth. Shame. On. You.

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There is a BIG Difference

Acronyms confuse people.

I admit that I Googled “NSFW” the first time I saw it, and sometimes need to refer to a cheat sheet to understand what people are saying on The Twitter.

But when it comes to MILF vs MELF? I’m not sure how people can not know that these are two VERY different things.

MELF on the shelf vs MILF on the shelf on ElfShaming by Kim Bongiorno

First, the MILF on the Shelf. Usually not an actual elf, often seen in last night’s party dress, or a push-up bra before 3pm. Known to most who see her as a “Mom I’d Like to F…” well, you know how that goes. Almost always wearing mascara. And if she ended up on the shelf? She should probably be ashamed of herself for whatever she did that landed her there.

By NicoleLeighShaw on NickMom, used with permission.
By NicoleLeighShaw on NickMom, used with permission.

On the other hand, we have MELF on the Shelf. Usually discovered in the wee hours of the morning, often seen in last night’s pajamas climbing up onto shelves to put the real Elf on the Shelf in a new spot where the kids can’t reach it. Known to Santa as a “Mom Elf” for doing so much watching of the kids before Christmas. Almost always clutching a cup of coffee. And when you find her on a shelf? You should probably help her down, or at least distract the kids before they catch her moving that damn elf at the last minute again.

MELF on the Shelf by Kim Bongiorno on ElfShaming with ElfOnTheShelf

Sure, I guess a MILF can technically be a MELF–but I bet they don’t look very MILF-like while MELFing.

And I’m pretty sure there are both DILFs and DELFs out there, too. Now that I’d like to see.

While I ponder all this, please take a moment to enjoy some other elftasticness on web, courtesy of NickMom, such as:

The Elf Creepiness Chart – Who’s worse: Clay Aiken or Hermey?

The 6 Weirdest Locations for the Elf on the Shelf – Really? An OVEN??

The Elf on the Shelf 2013 Pop Culture Edition – LOLOLOL

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