Shelley the Elf’s Bait-and-Switch

Everyone thinks Shelley is The Best. Elf. EVER.

But…

Sure, Tammy’s kids squealed with delight upon finding a gift from Shelley the good-natured Elf not long ago.

Celebrations were in order: The Elf on the Shelf was doing her job! The kids were being good! All was well and merry!

Tammy and her family were so pleased to have such a generous Elf on their hands. I mean, it’s not just any Elf that would be so generous as to get on Pinterest late at night for a recipe to create homemade snowman cookies, right?
That takes a kind, sweet, giving sort of Elf.

Hold on.

Speaking of giving…Who gave you the OK to eat those, Shelley??

Those aren’t for you! They were hidden in Mommy’s Secret High Cabinet for when the kids are asleep.

Bad elf! Don’t do that again!

[20 minutes later]

Oh, so you think you’re funny now? Stealing the kids’ favorite snack and pretending to fish with it?

Wasting all that food, just to pull a prank?

Not funny, Miss Elf. Not funny at all.

Now get your itty bitty felty booty back in the kitchen and bake up some more goodies to make up for this greedy gluttony, or I’m telling Santa. 

Elf submitted by Tammy.
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Hanukah Helpers Can Be Naughty, Too

This Hanukah Helper isn’t all that helpful.

Ilana recently had her 2nd kid in less than 3 years. This lady could use an extra pair of hands around the house during the holiday season.

Abraham the Hanukah Helper arrived in good spirits and a fuzzy blue jumpsuit.

On the first night of Hanukah, Ilana and her newly-expanded family began their celebration with a special blessing and candle-lighting, trusting that Abraham was taking care of things in the kitchen.

He wasn’t. 

 This did not go over well.

Furious at his prank, but still desperate for back-up, Ilana sent Abraham to get the gelt for little Mazzy. Can’t get that wrong…right?

Mazzy was thrilled to see the bag of coins, because she knew that beneath the gold wrappers was delicious chocolate candy.

Or was it?

Later that evening, just when Ilana finally got the baby to sleep and was ready to tuck in for the night herself,  pint-sized footsteps bolting towards the toilet told her something was amiss. It didn’t take long for her to suss out the truth about her horrible Hanukah Helper.  

 Abraham confessed to his crimes of pork and pooping, and was sentenced to spending the other 7 nights of Hanukah doing all of the middle-of-the-night feedings of the newborn. This punishment of diaper duty in the dark and a week without sleep should straighten him right out. Hopefully.

Elf Hanukah Helper submitted by Ilana of MommyShorts.
See more of Abraham’s antics here
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The “Not Me!” Mystery? SOLVED.

Strange things were happening at Kathy’s house.

She’d look to her four sons and ask them who left the lights on again, who made the mess, who ate the snacks, who broke another ornament.

Each time they’d all answer “Not me!”

This scenario sounds very familiar, doesn’t it?

Recently, Elfie Oodle had arrived at her home, and she’d ask him whether he knew anything about the trouble going on. His sweet smile made her think he was an innocent bystander with no details to give.

Then she got wise to his ways.

She figured out who had the magic to fly up to those lights.

She heard fingerless hands digging when the boys were asleep.

She saw tiny yogurt footprints on the kitchen counter.

She knew her boys wouldn’t dare go near her vintage ornaments. 

The only thing she has left to figure out, is whether Elfie Oodle was the one causing the “Not me!” Trouble all these years, or if he can only be blamed for the recent rash of messes and mayhem.

I suspect kids across the globe are waiting with bated breath, hoping Elfie Oodle gets all the blame… 

Elf submitted by Kathy at Kissing the Frog.
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Atticus the Elf On the Run

Sometimes an Elf Shaming doesn’t require much effort.

Atticus the Elf on the Shelf thought he was being clever, slipping into the kitchen when Mama Frugalista was monitoring her son wash his hands again in the middle of their cookie-making project.

When they came back, she noticed the beaters looked a bit cleaner than she expected, but didn’t think much of it.

That is, she didn’t until she heard the moans and Courtesy Flushes from the hall bathroom later that day.

Looks like one little Elf may have learned his lesson the hard way.

Four days of stomach cramps, fever and raging diarrhea from a case of salmonella poisoning will do that to a fella.

I suspect this Elf on the Shelf will stay on higher ground from now on.

Lesson? Learned.

Elf submitted Rebecca of Frugalista Blog
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Witness Protection Program for Elves

[Name Witheld] Has Some ‘Splaining to Do.

“I’ve done so many shameful things, I’ve had plastic surgery and entered the Witness Protection Program to hide from my shame.”

When I receive a photo of an Elf who has had to go so far underground that I’m not even allowed to know his (her?) name, I shudder to think about what he’s (she’s?) done.

Usually when people try to start anew, they dye their hair and get a nose job. This fella (lady??) seems to have completely changed species. That can’t be good.

Not only is it not good, I can’t even tell what this critter is supposed to be now. A Wookie of the North Pole? A Scottish Moose? Bullwinkle’s Excessively Hirsute Cousin?

Let’s agree that sometimes it’s better not to know the finer details of what an Elf is ashamed of doing, then move quickly away, to avoid being associated with such an unscrupulous character. 

Elf submitted by The Suniverse
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An Unreliable Elf

Shhhhhhhhh…..

Tsk tsk tsk…

If you are an Elf assigned to the Naps Happen household, you can’t help but assume you’ve got one sweet gig.

All the kids there do is nap, right?

Wrong.

Sure, they needed a quick snooze after trying desperately to decide a name for the Elf. The kids managed to squeeze out a few gems, such as “Elf” and “Gingerbread Elf” before going with “He Who Should Not Be Named” and crawling into a headstand for some slumber.

When He Who Should Not Be Named witnessed the dozing duo that first day, he figured he could do pretty much whatever he wanted. He nipped a bit of egg nog, watched some HGTV, and turned his back on the angelic boys for a nap of his own. 

Pretty soon, the golden-haired cherubs were wide awake, tossing Legos like confetti, painting the walls with Nutella, and rearranging furniture while He Who Should Not Be named missed each opportunity for accuracy in his report to Santa. Elfy reinforcements had to be called in, spilling magic dust all over an already messy living room.

Looks like someone is at risk of getting his first pink slip, and it isn’t even December yet!

Elf submitted by Alicia of Naps Happen
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Topher Takes the Blame

Topher the Elf’s got a sweet tooth.

I guess if you’re gonna steal someone’s ice cream, Ben & Jerry’s is a good place to start.

I can imagine the scene where Husband is rummaging through the freezer for his pint of Americone Dream, casting blame upon his innocent wife as she’s rounding up her overtired offspring before bed, covered in crumbs and sweat. That girl is too busy to be sneaky. Doesn’t her betrothed know this by now?

Also, if Topher the Elf was simply in need of a dairy fix, he could have just checked Stephanie’s underwear drawer in the bedroom. According to her son, that’s where she keeps delicious things, like cheese.

Then again, we wouldn’t want to encourage any kind of theft now, would we…Topher?

Elf submitted by Stephanie of Binkies and Briefcases
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