Some people love the Elf on the Shelf.
Then Holy Christmas Pudding on a Poppyseed Cracker do other people LOVE the Elf on the Shelf with the deep burning passion of a thousand crackling fireplaces.
Audrey is one of the latter. She has many elves.
Many, many, many elves.
I’ve been getting to know her elves pretty well. Let’s call it “Elvestigative Reporting”, shall we?
Oh yes, we shall.
Did you know that some Elves like to party? Audrey’s elves do. And they make it look sooooooooo cuuuuuuuute.
OMG I TOTALLY WANT TO BE AN ELF RIGHT NOW.
Tiny Elf Cake Pops?
Itty Bitty Elf Oven Mitts for baking Teenie Weenie Elf Cookies?
[passes out from cuteness]
[wakes up with glitter sprinkled on my shirt to the distinct odor of candy canes]
Okay. Where was I?
Oh yeah: Audrey’s Elves are frickin’ adorable to the max.
(there’s always a “but” around here)
…even the adorable ones can be trouble.
You see, since I was spending so much time with this festive felty gang, they got used to my being around. Sure, I’m over five feet taller than them, but it was like I was one of them.
They got comfortable. Let me see the other side of them.
The frisky side.
An Elf party starts innocently enough. How it ends is a whole different story.
Once Audrey turns her back on the red & white-clad gang to tuck her kids in for the night, their real personalities come out swinging. Literally.
The sun sets, and they break out the T.P.
Not even the baby is safe from their rowdy wrath.
Nary a cookie or cupcake in the house is off-limits.
And you know what you can’t stop from happening once Mack and Miss Bliss get revved up on a sugar high, right?
A major snogging session. No mistletoe required.
I think that’s enough evidence to prove my point that no Elf, no matter how adorable or innocent-looking, is truly never a troublemaker.
So before yours packs up to go back to the North Pole on Christmas Eve, you might want to check his bags, okay?
You just never know what those sneaky sons-of-guns may have slipped in there.