The “Not Me!” Mystery? SOLVED.

Strange things were happening at Kathy’s house.

She’d look to her four sons and ask them who left the lights on again, who made the mess, who ate the snacks, who broke another ornament.

Each time they’d all answer “Not me!”

This scenario sounds very familiar, doesn’t it?

Recently, Elfie Oodle had arrived at her home, and she’d ask him whether he knew anything about the trouble going on. His sweet smile made her think he was an innocent bystander with no details to give.

Then she got wise to his ways.

She figured out who had the magic to fly up to those lights.

She heard fingerless hands digging when the boys were asleep.

She saw tiny yogurt footprints on the kitchen counter.

She knew her boys wouldn’t dare go near her vintage ornaments. 

The only thing she has left to figure out, is whether Elfie Oodle was the one causing the “Not me!” Trouble all these years, or if he can only be blamed for the recent rash of messes and mayhem.

I suspect kids across the globe are waiting with bated breath, hoping Elfie Oodle gets all the blame… 

Elf submitted by Kathy at Kissing the Frog.
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Have an Elf you’d like to submit? Find out how HERE.

Atticus the Elf On the Run

Sometimes an Elf Shaming doesn’t require much effort.

Atticus the Elf on the Shelf thought he was being clever, slipping into the kitchen when Mama Frugalista was monitoring her son wash his hands again in the middle of their cookie-making project.

When they came back, she noticed the beaters looked a bit cleaner than she expected, but didn’t think much of it.

That is, she didn’t until she heard the moans and Courtesy Flushes from the hall bathroom later that day.

Looks like one little Elf may have learned his lesson the hard way.

Four days of stomach cramps, fever and raging diarrhea from a case of salmonella poisoning will do that to a fella.

I suspect this Elf on the Shelf will stay on higher ground from now on.

Lesson? Learned.

Elf submitted Rebecca of Frugalista Blog
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Have an Elf you’d like to submit? Find out how HERE.

Be Thankful That Your Elf on the Shelf…

Today is a day to be thankful.

Thankful your Elf on the Shelf didn’t steal the remote and delete all of your DVR settings, only to replace them with 200 hours of Will Farrell in Elf.

Who needs football and parades, when there’s movies on about my kinfolk?

Thankful your Elf on the Shelf hasn’t eaten all the Stove Top Stuffing, forcing you to borrow stale bread from the neighbors to make 3 batches from scratch the morning of Thanksgiving.

Carbo-loaded and drunk on organic chicken stock. What an embarrassment.

Thankful your Elf on the Shelf didn’t introduce himself to your Peaceful Pilgrim & nice Native American friend, only to seduce them into a menage a trois.

It’s fine that you all are getting along nicely…just not THAT nicely.

Photo submitted by EvilJoySpeaks, also on Facebook & Twitter.

Thankful your elf wasn’t overheard offering the Christmas decorations $10 in chocolate coins for a BJ, only to get threatened with cracked nuts. 

Well, at least he’s only mounting a star, and not an angel. That’s…something, right?

Finally, let’s be thankful that many of you don’t have the kind of elf that poops in your cereal, or if you do have a bad elf, that you a place to shame him or her here at ElfShaming.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Have an Elf you’d like to submit? Find out how HERE.

Topher Takes the Blame

Topher the Elf’s got a sweet tooth.

I guess if you’re gonna steal someone’s ice cream, Ben & Jerry’s is a good place to start.

I can imagine the scene where Husband is rummaging through the freezer for his pint of Americone Dream, casting blame upon his innocent wife as she’s rounding up her overtired offspring before bed, covered in crumbs and sweat. That girl is too busy to be sneaky. Doesn’t her betrothed know this by now?

Also, if Topher the Elf was simply in need of a dairy fix, he could have just checked Stephanie’s underwear drawer in the bedroom. According to her son, that’s where she keeps delicious things, like cheese.

Then again, we wouldn’t want to encourage any kind of theft now, would we…Topher?

Elf submitted by Stephanie of Binkies and Briefcases
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Have an Elf you’d like to submit? Find out how HERE.