Adventures of Elfie Junkel

Elfie Junkel is quite the overachieving elf.

By that I mean dude is up to no good.

Adventures of Elfie Junkel on elfShaming

He has been caught…

…robbing a piggy bank.

Elf on the Shelf Piggy Bank Heist by Melissa Junkel on ElfShaming

…luging in the living room.

Elf on the Shelf Luge by Melissa Junkel on ElfShaming

…doing science experiments unsupervised. (Does he really think we believe him when he says he’s making snow?)

Elf on the Shelf Science Experiment by Melissa Junkel on ElfShaming

…taking a space mission in the boy’s bedroom to deliver freeze-dried ice cream for breakfast.

Elf on the Shelf Space Mission by Melissa Junkel on ElfShaming

And that’s only the beginning! This little guy is always up to something.

I don’t know how Ma Junkel hasn’t giving him a stern talking-to yet. Maybe because he’s adorable even while doing slightly criminal activity? Hm. Could be. It is hard to be angry when your elf is feeding your kid sweet space treats.

Want to see more of his antics? Visit his Pinterest board.

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7 Deady Elf Sins: Gluttony

From every Elf on the Shelf Pinterest board I’ve seen, it appeared that elves live on itty bitty elf donuts (with sprinkles) and the occasional marshmallow.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that I had been misled by Pinterest, yet again.

Yes, they enjoy sweets.

But they also enjoy the lamb chops I was saving for my husband, my kids’ favorite angus beef meatballs, and pinot noir…in very large quantities.

Who knew something so small – whose job it is to sit around all day watching kids – had such a massive appetite??

Back to the grocery store I go…

Elf on the Shelf 7 Deadly Elf Sins on ElfShaming

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The Gluten-Free Elf on the Shelf

Your Elf on the Shelf was sent to you by Santa to help remind the kids that he is watching.

These elves have a simple task: keep an eye on things, take notes, magically return to the North Pole each night, give a detailed and honest report to the thick guy in red velvet, and go back to his/her perch for another day of voyeurism. 

Did you notice the use of the phrase “detailed and honest report” in there?

Many elves pride themselves on their honesty and detail.

Others have an intolerance to gluten and are willing to overlook all sorts of Naughty List Behavior in exchange for some delicious gluten-free cookies and milk.

One such elf is Cocoa.

All it takes is a gluten-free bribe and Cocoa is willing to look the other way.

Gluten Free Elf on the Shelf on ElfShaming

You’re only letting yourself down, Cocoa.

Well, yourself and Santa Claus. 

For a cookie.

*sigh*

Elf submitted by Courtney of Our Small Moments.
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Billy is a Thief & a Narc

Billy the Elf never stops moving.

And no, I don’t mean “moving from shelf to shelf spreading holiday cheer.”

I mean the little bastard won’t stop getting into trouble long enough to capture and cage.

First, he arrived late.

Thanks for breaking the kids’ hearts, Billy.

Then he literally swept Barbie off her feet, installing a zip line in the dining room and rushing her straight to his waterbed in the china cabinet.

Thanks for leaving nail marks in the walls, Billy.

Elf on the Shelf Zip Line with Barbie on ElfShaming via Val Perez

Then he rolled off Barbie and took off on a stolen motorcycle, leaving her with a broken heart. 

Thanks for the tire skid marks on the hardwood floors, Billy.

Elf on the Shelf Motorcycle on ElfShaming via Val Perez

Then he broke into five-year-old Valerie’s bedroom, discovered her secret candy stash, photographed the evidence to get her in trouble, and ate it all.

Thanks for taking your Narc duties a bit too far, Billy.

Elf on the Shelf Candy on ElfShaming via Val Perez

Anyone have a tranquilizer gun we can borrow for a night or two (or fourteen)?

Elf submitted by Val Perez.
Want to submit an elf of your own? Email ElfShaming@Gmail.com.

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The Elf on the Shelf that Ate the Shelf

Nicole Leigh Shaw had a wonderful time building a gingerbread house town with her four young kids.

They bonded!

They ate gumdrops!

Almost no one got a Time Out for hitting!

Hooray!

To celebrate their masterpiece, Nicole took the family out for hot cocoa. Mmm….cocoa…They entrusted their confection concoction to be watched by their trusty elf, Blinky.

Uh-oh. Blinky looks a bit peckish.

The Hungry Elf on ElfShaming via NicoleLeighShaw

Unfortunately, Blinky has no opposable thumbs with which to open the snack cabinet.

And he was hungry.

The Hungry Elf is not sorry on ElfShaming via NicoleLeighShaw

Very hungry.

The Elf on the Shelf is Eating the Shelf on ElfShaming via NicoleLeighShaw

By the time Nicole and her brood made it back, the damage was done.

Elf on the Shelf Aftermath on ElfShaming via NicoleLeighShaw

He didn’t just eat a gingerbread house, he ate an entire town

Blinky’s sugar high was too intense to allow him to apologize. He just sat there atop masticated rooftops and the leftover crumbs of window panes with a glazed look in his eyes and a full belly.

Maybe tomorrow when he poops out all the holiday spirit, he’ll realize the terrible thing he’s done.

Then again? Maybe not.

Elf submitted by writer/blogger extraordinaire, Nicole Leigh Shaw.
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