Elfy Kept His Eyes Open

Elfy couldn’t help himself.

Eyes. Wide. OPEN.

Happy little Elfy was perched on JD’s bedroom dresser so she wouldn’t forget to get him ready for the holidays.

But she did forget.

Then she got busy. Busy busy, ifyouknowwhatImean.

Being that Elfy’s eyes are permanently fixed wide, wide open, he couldn’t help but witness a bit of human carnal action right there in front of him. He had no choice!

As for the thrilled grin on his face? That’s alllllll Elfy. Naughty boy.

Elf submitted by JD of Honest Mom
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Squirrel Isn’t Really an Elf (Shhh!)

Squirrel isn’t your typical Elf. Obviously. 

Because he’s a friggin’ squirrel.

“Cheap” or “Creative”? Let’s ask Pinterest…

Squirrel has a back story.

Quite possibly a completely bullshit story in an attempt to cover up the fact that squirrels aren’t really seen around The North Pole, but why get into frivolous details? This dude’s got bigger problems than geography.

Is he a bastard child? 

Not sure. But if the story below is true, then his mom’s pretty slutty. Which can be embarrassing, when your friends find out this sort of thing.

www.HollowTreeVentures.com

Maybe this blogger’s kids will respect an Elf-hat-donning squirrel.

Maybe not.

But at least Mom is trying to get a message of holiday cheer across. Or a woodland creature sex-gone-wrong message across.

One of those.

Happy Holidays!

Elf submitted by Robyn of Hollow Tree Ventures
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Have an Elf you’d like to submit? Find out how HERE.