Elfie Thinks He’s Scarface

Wendy is very, very busy.

She has a family, responsibilities – she’s even a food blogger! It’s not like the woman can always keep her eye on her elf!

But ohhh what an elf she has.

On Thanksgiving morning as Wendy unwrapped the turkey to begin preparations for a festive feast, guess who arrived in Bad Elf fashion?

Elfie Arrives on @ElfShaming via Wendy Bentien #turkey
Did somebody say “stuffing”?

Before the kids could see anything, Wendy yanked Elfie out of his hidey-hole and begged him to be better behaved. He’s supposed to be setting a good example for the children, right?

Yet as soon as she turned her back on him, he was dipping into the booze and rubbers…as well as the Barbies.

Elfie enjoys tequila and condoms on ElfShaming via Wendy Bentien
Was it as good for you two as it was for me?

Oh, Elfie!

One can understand the little fella getting lonely after 11 months away in the clink North Pole, so Wendy tried to forgive his sexual antics. She gave him another chance.

And guess what he did with that chance?

Scarface Elfie does cocaine on @ElfShaming via Wendy Bentien
Oh no.

Blow.

Yep, Scarface Elfie was caught snorting coke with a couple of princesses, a tea kettle, a snuggly critter on Ecstasy, and a very, very paranoid Smurf.

At this point you just gotta roll with the punches, and hope next year you get a better-behaved elf.

Good luck, Wendy. I think you’re gonna need it.

Elf submitted by Wendy Bentien. Follow her on Facebook.
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Shirley, You Jest!

It seems the Canadians can’t get their elves to behave, either.

I recently received the following letter from an ElfShaming fan:

Dear ElfShaming,

After gambling and pole dancing – she even pretended to be Miley Cyrus on the wrecking ball – Shirley the Elf has reached a new low. I found her stretched out among the empty wine bottles with a mysterious white powder on her nose – along with a note from Rob Ford, the illustrious Mayor of Toronto.

Shirley the Elf on ElfShaming

I have done the responsible thing and sent her to rehab before Santa needs her to report to duty.

Sincerely,
Patti Millar

P.S.
Please pray for me. She’s a bad, bad elf.

*sigh*

I have a feeling the mayor’s “maybe once” stance on crack may apply to Elves, as well.

Elf submitted by Patti Millar
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These Elves Made the Most of Their Last Weekend of Freedom

They knew the end was near.

The Elf End is Near on @ElfShaming

And we’re not talking about the Mayan End-of-the-World thing.

The elves knew that this was the last weekend before Christmas. So they did what they do best.

GOT COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL.

Wayne & Billy went to a cabin in Big Bear with their cousins, partying hard with Barbie and one of those whorish Monster High Dolls.

Elves submitted by Val Perez.
Elves submitted by Val Perez.

But he wasn’t the only one into drugs and booze…

Elf submitted by Melinda F.
Elf submitted by Melinda F.

Blink the Elf surrounded himself with all the Holiday Ladies of the house, talking them into a one-man “celebration.”

Elf submitted by Ryann Cox.
Elf submitted by Ryann Cox.

Henry refused to leave the bar even ONCE to check on the kids.

Elf submitted by Dani Christiano.
Elf submitted by Dani Christiano.

Bob tried to get himself kicked out of the North Pole.

Elf submitted by Jodi.
Elf submitted by Jodi via Facebook.

This guy became a Chippendales dancer.

Elf submitted by Rebecca W via Facebook.
Elf submitted by Rebecca W via Facebook.

Some cracked open their owners’ copy of Fifty Shades of Grey and put it to the test.

Elf submitted by SAHM I Am. Cocktail I Want. via Facebook.
Elf submitted by SAHM I Am. Cocktail I Want. via Facebook.
Gordon the Elf submitted by Jenn.
Gordon the Elf submitted by Jenn.

 There’s many, many, MANNNNNNY more where that came from. 

But at this point? I’m getting downright disgusted at all this debauchery.

Damn elves.

Elf submitted via email & Facebook.
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Hermey Gets a Second Chance

Some elves are happy to be Shamed. They’re a better Elf for it.

Take Hermey, for instance.

He had a pretty big dream, but got sidetracked by some dastardly distractions.

Yet, he has no problem admitting his flaws. He feels that if he digs deeply enough, he’ll find the answers to why he did what he did.

Why he snorted what he snorted. 

Why he landed himself in lock-up.

Here, let’s take a peek into his latest therapy session…

Hooray!

Finally, a Shamed Elf who got the help he needed and now is on the path to becoming the man Elf he deserves to be.

Don’t you just love a happy ending?

Get your own set of Hermey and his friends here:

Elf (and his gang) submitted by Bethany of Bad Parenting Moments
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Purvis the Huffing Pervert

“Purvis” the Elf? More like Pervert the Elf.

Don’t think that’s quite the Christmas Magic we’re supposed to be teaching our kids about.

Normally laundry rooms are where the dirty stuff goes to get clean.

Not in this house.

Huffing & hot pink panties have turned this squeaky-clean Elf into a filthy perv with a one-way ticket to Santa’s Dry Cleaning Detention Center. 

You might want to wear rubber gloves when packing him up, my dear. Who knows where his hands have been.

Actually…yeah. We know exactly where they’re been.

Elf submitted by Toulouse and Tonic
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