Drop Dead Fred Makes a Citizen’s Arrest

Defending Santa’s honor is not a bad thing.

Getting blood on your hands is.

Every shopping mall in America has a “Santa” in December, ready to listen to kids tell him their Wish Lists and hand out lollipops.

Drop Dead Fred the Elf doesn’t have a problem with this.

He has a problem with people puppets anyone else imitating The Man With the Bag. If there’s no line of kids or gifts to hand out, he gets very suspicous of the impersonator’s intentions.

He gets very defensive.

He gets very violent.

Just ask Animal, who thought it’d be a hoot to don a festive beard and cap. 

 Uh….nevermind. Unless you have the ability to talk to the dead, that is.

I have a feeling Santa will not be as pleased with Drop Dead Fred’s Citizen’s Arrest as DDF thinks he’ll be. I mean…it’s not exactly an “arrest” when you stab a Muppet to death just for dressing like Mr. Claus. 

This is one Elf who deserves to be on The Naughty List. And in prison.

Elf submitted by Dawn I. Follow her on Instagram.
No Muppets were actually murdered in the making of this post. I hope.
Have an Elf you’d like to submit? Find out how HERE.

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Kirby the Elf Hates Coco the Kitty

Kirby the Elf on the Shelf isn’t exactly an animal lover.

Not that I blame him. 

Each night, Michele would put him in a new spot for her kids to discover the next day.

What she found instead, was evidence of Coco the Kitty gone wild.

Morning after morning, Michele would find Kirby on the floor, protecting his Elf Bits with his hands, hoping the evening of feline torture was over.

So it wasn’t a surprise when she eventually came across a very different kind of scene in her kitchen during feeding time.

No, it isn’t quite considered “The Holiday Spirit” to attempt to murder your furry tormentor with poison, but when an Elf is backed into a corner?

All bets are off.

Elf submitted by reader Michele.
Coco the Kitty wasn’t really poisoned.
Kirby the Elf is on probation anyway.

Have an Elf you’d like to submit? Find out how HERE.

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Elf on the Shelf at Target

Jenn needed to run a simple errand: Shopping at Target.

She wasn’t expecting a pint-sized magical plush helper to tag along.

This unnamed girlie Elf hopped into Jenn’s cart as she passed by. Being an open-minded gal with things to do, Jenn didn’t say much of anything.

She even overlooked a little trouble-making in the holiday aisle.

Then things started getting personal. Like, Mean Girls, personal.

Not cool, you Arctic anarchist. Not. Cool.

Only two more stops before Jenn could loop back around to drop this feisty Elf off where she came from. If she only knew that Santa’s Helper would want to get innocent Target customers arrested for shoplifting, she would have kicked the Elf out right then and there!

It couldn’t possible get worse than jail time…could it?!

Before Elf could do any more harm, Jenn grabbed her prescription from the Pharmacist while dashing back to the Elf on the Shelf display, ridding herself of her unscrupulous passenger for good.

Little did she know, there was one last trick up the Elf’s scarlet sleeve.

Let’s hope that Jenn figures this one out before it’s too late. 

 

Elf submitted by Jenn of Something Clever 2.0
Follow Jenn on Facebook & Twitter.
Have an Elf you’d like to submit? Find out how HERE.

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