Revenge is a Dish Served Cold Turkey

Thanksgiving was last week. Wasn’t it delicious?

I thought so!

But Elizabeth wouldn’t know.

Because Elizabeth wasn’t invited to the family feast in her home.

How well did she take the snub?

Thanksgiving Revenge on ElfShaming by Amy Mayo

Um.

Errr.

You could say “not well.”

Thanksgiving Revenge by Amy Mayo on ElfShaming

Note to self: do not piss off Elizabeth the Elf.

If you do so, she will quietly rip the heads off all the turkeys in the house and litter your kitchen with feathers of revenge.

It. Ain’t. Pretty.

See you next Thanksgiving, Elizabeth!

I PINKY PROMISE YOU WILL BE INVITED.

(Because you are one creepy little f*cker.)

Elf submitted by Amy Effing Mayo.
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Rambo Gets His Way

Rambo needs to learn that No Means No

Sweet, fluffy, reliable George was just laying around, minding his own business.

Then Rambo the Elf popped by out of nowhere.

Hey George. What’s up?

George smelled trouble, and tried to ignore him.

Rambo wouldn’t stand for The Cold Shoulder. He came a little closer. 

 Hey Handsome. Doggy want a bone?

George stood strong as long as he could. Then Rambo broke out the Big Guns:

How about a some bacon and a tummy rub? 

Now THAT was an offer Man’s Best Friend can’t refuse.

Rambo even hand-fed the persuaded pooch bits of crispy bacon, rendering him up for anything.

Who’s a good booooooy???

It didn’t take long before Rambo was taking full advantage of the situation, spooning that cute canine well into the night.

 Just don’t tell the cat, okay?

Elf submitted by Kerry of HouseTalkN.com
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