A Coin Toss Frosty Will Never Forget

Have you ever been in a situation that seemed normal at first, but then something in the frostiest recesses of your snowy gut made you realized that this elf might just have a flame thrower or the like he would use on you if the mood struck?

Elf on the Shelf No Country for Old Men Coin Toss Scene on ElfShaming by Kim Bongiorno

I’m guessing our little snowman here feels the same way right about now.

Does this elf remind you a little too much of Anton from No Country for Old Men, or is it just me? The bowl-like haircut, creepy stare, overly-calm demeanor? GET ME OUTTA HERE.

He’s not the only one that’s taking on Anton’s creeptastic behavior. Check out Amy Kalasunas’ story:

Sure, the off season is hard for every elf. Staying out of sight in the sock drawer isn’t much of a life, and even with lightning-fast internet connections, monotony can take its toll. With only Netflix to entertain her, Gertie’s fragile grip on sanity starts to weaken, and the month of June finds her watching only one blood-soaked movie over and over and over…No Country for Old Men.

Spending her days rocking silently back and forth, Gertie clutches her limp legs to her chest, wondering how long she can ignore the voice under her red cap…. ” THE PIG MUST DIE….. THE PIG MUST DIE…..” Clamping thumbless mittens over her ears does no good – the chanting just gets louder…more insistent…

On a blustery November day, the scent of baking turkey finally wafts to the sock drawer. With a rasping creak of cotton, Gertie slowly climbs to her feet, clear with the notion of what she must do.

CRACK!

The time has come. The pig must die.

Amy Kalasunas on ElfShaming No Country for Old Men

No country for old guinea pigs, either, I guess.

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