Acronyms confuse people.
I admit that I Googled “NSFW” the first time I saw it, and sometimes need to refer to a cheat sheet to understand what people are saying on The Twitter.
But when it comes to MILF vs MELF? I’m not sure how people can not know that these are two VERY different things.
First, the MILF on the Shelf. Usually not an actual elf, often seen in last night’s party dress, or a push-up bra before 3pm. Known to most who see her as a “Mom I’d Like to F…” well, you know how that goes. Almost always wearing mascara. And if she ended up on the shelf? She should probably be ashamed of herself for whatever she did that landed her there.
On the other hand, we have MELF on the Shelf. Usually discovered in the wee hours of the morning, often seen in last night’s pajamas climbing up onto shelves to put the real Elf on the Shelf in a new spot where the kids can’t reach it. Known to Santa as a “Mom Elf” for doing so much watching of the kids before Christmas. Almost always clutching a cup of coffee. And when you find her on a shelf? You should probably help her down, or at least distract the kids before they catch her moving that damn elf at the last minute again.
Sure, I guess a MILF can technically be a MELF–but I bet they don’t look very MILF-like while MELFing.
And I’m pretty sure there are both DILFs and DELFs out there, too. Now that I’d like to see.
While I ponder all this, please take a moment to enjoy some other elftasticness on web, courtesy of NickMom, such as:
The Elf Creepiness Chart – Who’s worse: Clay Aiken or Hermey?
The 6 Weirdest Locations for the Elf on the Shelf – Really? An OVEN??
Want your elf to be featured on ElfShaming? Here’s how.