Billy the Elf never stops moving.
And no, I don’t mean “moving from shelf to shelf spreading holiday cheer.”
I mean the little bastard won’t stop getting into trouble long enough to capture and cage.
First, he arrived late.
Thanks for breaking the kids’ hearts, Billy.
Then he literally swept Barbie off her feet, installing a zip line in the dining room and rushing her straight to his waterbed in the china cabinet.
Thanks for leaving nail marks in the walls, Billy.
Then he rolled off Barbie and took off on a stolen motorcycle, leaving her with a broken heart.
Thanks for the tire skid marks on the hardwood floors, Billy.
Then he broke into five-year-old Valerie’s bedroom, discovered her secret candy stash, photographed the evidence to get her in trouble, and ate it all.
Thanks for taking your Narc duties a bit too far, Billy.
Anyone have a tranquilizer gun we can borrow for a night or two (or fourteen)?
Elf submitted by Val Perez.
Want to submit an elf of your own? Email ElfShaming@Gmail.com.