The REAL (Elf) Legend of Sleepy Hollow

ohnce upon a time there was a delightful town called Sleepy Hollow.

It was a bright, bustling place of laughter and light. The townsfolk enjoyed meeting to exchange pleasantries over tea, or arranging social engagements such as festive dances. It wasn’t uncommon to see gentlemen riding elegant horses with long manes adorned with bows and simple jewels, waving to neighbors and shopkeepers along the route. 

Sleepy Hollow Showing up to the Dance @ElfShaming
Just heading to the party with my pimped-out pony. Tra-la-lah!

Each Christmas season the street lamps would be decorated with boughs of holly, and a knock on your door would reveal rosy-cheeked carolers, whose voices could lift your spirits higher than the tallest birch tree in the forest.

Then Becky the Elf arrived.

Sleepy Hollow Meet Becky on @ElfShaming
New to town. WATCH YOUR BACKS.

Sure, she seemed perfectly fine, but there was something about her eyes that made the townsfolk leery.

Sleepy Hollow Becky Eyes on @ElfShaming
Let me look into your AAAAAAAK!!!

Being the polite society that it was, no one openly accused Becky the Elf of anything, and she was welcomed to the dances, dinners, and social engagements just like everyone else.

Then, one night, Becky disappeared from the Sleepy Hollow Annual Winter Ball. She had been looking out the window as the men began arriving, and then she was gone

Suddenly, a blood-curdling scream echoed through the night, raising goosebumps on the merry flesh of everyone in town, chilling them to the bone. The thumping of hooves soon followed, revealing a headless horseman to the townspeople who fled for their homes.

Sleepy Hollow Headless Horseman on ElfShaming
What happens to men who mess with the wrong woman…elf.

From that night on a curfew was put in place, for every evening as the moon rose so did the headless horseman. He rode the empty streets in search of the one thing he wanted back more than anything: HIS HEAD. There were no more dinners, no more dances, no more boughs of holly, for everyone feared the wrath of what now haunted the town of Sleepy Hollow.

Sleepy Hollow Becky the Butcher on @ElfShaming
LIAR.

The End

Man, that Becky. I mean, really…cursing an entire town?

What a bitch. Santa must have been pissed.

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