Squirrel Isn’t Really an Elf (Shhh!)

Squirrel isn’t your typical Elf. Obviously. 

Because he’s a friggin’ squirrel.

“Cheap” or “Creative”? Let’s ask Pinterest…

Squirrel has a back story.

Quite possibly a completely bullshit story in an attempt to cover up the fact that squirrels aren’t really seen around The North Pole, but why get into frivolous details? This dude’s got bigger problems than geography.

Is he a bastard child? 

Not sure. But if the story below is true, then his mom’s pretty slutty. Which can be embarrassing, when your friends find out this sort of thing.


Maybe this blogger’s kids will respect an Elf-hat-donning squirrel.

Maybe not.

But at least Mom is trying to get a message of holiday cheer across. Or a woodland creature sex-gone-wrong message across.

One of those.

Happy Holidays!

Elf submitted by Robyn of Hollow Tree Ventures
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12 Responses to Squirrel Isn’t Really an Elf (Shhh!)

  1. Hey, we’ve all made mistakes!

    I don’t know if I’m defending myself or the squirrel there, though. Probably myself, because thanks to this guy, one of the baby’s first words is suddenly, “Skirl!” which is screeched as she points at it in horror. Or maybe that’s amusement. It’s hard to tell with babies.

  2. Abby says:

    This is why I love you. Squirrels? Garden gnomes? Now you’re speaking my language.

  3. That squirrel has quite a checkered past. And he drinks. A lot.

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