Squirrel isn’t your typical Elf. Obviously.
Because he’s a friggin’ squirrel.
Squirrel has a back story.
Quite possibly a completely bullshit story in an attempt to cover up the fact that squirrels aren’t really seen around The North Pole, but why get into frivolous details? This dude’s got bigger problems than geography.
Is he a bastard child?
Not sure. But if the story below is true, then his mom’s pretty slutty. Which can be embarrassing, when your friends find out this sort of thing.
Maybe this blogger’s kids will respect an Elf-hat-donning squirrel.
But at least Mom is trying to get a message of holiday cheer across. Or a woodland creature sex-gone-wrong message across.
One of those.